Welcome to My Life
by The Timeless Clock
Summary: Whoever you are, reading this, some normal, average person out there in the world, be thankful for the life you have. "You're never too young to die."
1. My Life

Whoever you are, reading this, some normal, average person out there in the world, be thankful for the life you have. Even though you may find it tedious at times, all the homework and nothing to do on a weekend, mark my words, my life is something much worse. I used to be normal, just like you, I had friends at school and I moaned about homework and watched TV. But soon my normal life was shattered by an organization called MI6. When my Uncle died my life died too and I was thrown in to a storm of bullets and killers. Of spying and secrecy. You may have dreamed of being a spy or when you watch a James Bond film you may find yourself thinking 'wow, I'd like to do that.' But once you're out there risking your life, a knife to your throat or a gun to your head, your opinion changes instantly. When you have so many lives riding on your conscience, when you know it's do or die, when things get so bad you want to break down and cry, you have to keep going.

Once you've been out there in the world, acting as a puppet for a master bigger than you, playing some scene you wish you could cut out, your strings being pulled so tight that you have no choice but to obey, your mind will never forget it and your soul will be forever scarred. I've seen things, done things, that you will only ever find in nightmares. I tried to leave this life behind me, but no matter how hard I tried it kept turning up like a bad penny. It'll haunt me forever and one day my life will kill me. One day I'll die because of this life.

A life of a spy is not glamorous, it's full or tears, pressure and frustration. Torture and malice. There are some bad people out there. Some merciless people. So many people who do bad things. I had a nice life once, ignorant to all these bad things. All these bad people. But now I'll never be ignorant again for my eyes will always remember. They will always see. Ignorance is beautiful, cherish it while you can. My name is Alex Rider. MI6 recruited me as a teenage spy one day and that day changed my view on things forever. It warped and twisted my life. I couldn't say no or my life would change in another way. I'd have no one to look after me, I'd have been sent to an orphanage. I wouldn't be able to see my friends at school. Either way, my life was set for this ever since I was born. I don't want this, but life has this habit of giving us things we don't want.

Welcome to my world, of destruction and torture. Of weapons and hiding. Of death and despair. Fortunately for you, you'll only ever experience it through words. You'll never actually have to live my life. Just read. Just know my story. I don't mind how much of it you believe, because the less you believe, the better for your mental health. But, if you want it, I'll tell you my story, if you don't already know it. My name is Alex Rider and something I've learnt is "You're never too young to die."


	2. Goodbye, Mr Blunt

I promised you the story of my life, didn't I? Well, you probably know most of it. You probably know about how exactly I became I spy, you probably know about the things I've been through but this is one story I haven't told yet, so listen up.

I would say it all began one day when I was walking down a deserted street, but it didn't really begin then, did it? It began the day my uncle died or you could argue it began the day I was born. I'd told MI6 I was done with them. That this was it. But since when did they listen to a thing I have to say? So many false promises. So many lies. When I said I'd done with spying, I found it difficult to lapse back into my old routine. I couldn't get excited about the things I did before. I couldn't pretend this had never happened. I kept analyzing things, I couldn't understand why people got so emotional over trivial things. Because all that kept playing in my mind were the guns and death. So I found myself, alone, walking down a street, lost in my thoughts.

When the black car with tinted windows drew up beside me I ignored it. Whatever they want, they can forget it, I thought, I'm not doing it. I won't. So I carried on walking as if nothing had happened. "Alex Rider." Said a tall man in a suit. I hadn't even heard the car door open.

"Who wants to know?"

"Only an organization you used to work for."

"What do they want to know?"

"They haven't old me. All they told me was that you are to come with me now. You can ask them yourself."

"I'm not coming. Tell them to forget it. I told them I was finished with them."

"I think you'll find you will, Alex. You don't seem to be in a position to argue." The man spoke softly but there was a razor sharp edge to his words and I felt, that if I was to touch them, my hand would surely bleed. I don't know why I did it. Why couldn't I have stood my ground? Maybe it was the man's tone of voice or maybe something else that made me step into that car. I didn't say anything for the whole journey but neither did the man in the car. The dead silence fell like a heavy weight, crushing me underneath it.

* * *

I stood in front of Mr Blunt's desk, eyeing him warily. "Alex, nice to see you again." He said.

"Shame I can't say the same for you." I said frostily.

"I know what you're thinking, Alex. But we need you again."

"You promised. You gave me your word. You ruined my life. I'm trying to fix my life but you're breaking it again before I've even started!"

"Alex," said Mrs Jones, "I'm sorry we ruined you life. I'm sorry about everything we put you through and if there was a way to make it stop I would do everything in my power to make it stop. It was wrong to have a teenager as a spy and your life will never be the same again. But now, we can't afford to lose you. We don't have anyone else capable of doing things you can and...I know you're not going to like this, but, we've ruined your life already, you're never going to get it back, so why not do this for us? A lot of people's lives could be at risk, do you want them to die, Alex?"

"No, I don't want them to die. But someone else can save them. I'm 14 for goodness sake! I'm not meant to be saving lives. Yes, you have ruined my life and I'm not going to say thank you and help you again."

"Alex, if you don't agree to help, you'll no longer have our support." Said Mr Blunt. "You see, Alex, you might not have realised but, you have no family to take care of you. No living relatives. Jack doesn't work and she hasn't adopted you, it's just because of us that you have been living like this."

"You used this to Blackmail me the first time we met. You're sick, that's what you are."

"No, Alex. I'm not sick. I'm a man who likes to get things done and I'll do a lot to get them done the way I want. So, if you don't agree to help us, you'll be moving. We'll put you in a care home or an orphanage until someone else decides to adopt you. Jack will go back to America and you won't be going to your school."

"What if I don't care?"

"You're a bright lad, Alex. But you've missed an awful lot of school. Do you think you'll be able to catch up? Will you pass your exams? What do you plan to do with your life, Alex? How will you earn a living? Of course, you could have worked for us, but if you don't help..." Mr Blunt had no emotion on his face. It was blank. Expressionless. Mrs Jones looked like she felt a bit guilty but she didn't shout out to save me, did she? I hate these people. I hate these manipulating people. Right then, in that moment, I was stuck. I didn't know what to do. I think all the pressure had finally gotten to me and I went out of my mind for a while. I wasn't thinking rationally. All I could think was I wasn't going to say yes, I wasn't going to do it.

"I don't care what you do. Frankly, Mr Blunt, I don't care. I don't care about your precious MI6, I don't care where you send me. Because you know what? You've already ruined my life and I'm never, _ever _going to get it back as it was before. So you can do what you like, but I'm not helping you. Goodbye, Mr Blunt. I hope we never meet again." With that, I walked out of the room. I heard Mr Blunt saying "I didn't think that would happen."

"He just needs time to think. He'll come round. You'll see." Said Mrs Jones. Glad I gave you a surprise Blunt, I thought, and, Mrs Jones, you're wrong. I am not going to come around. I didn't know where to go then. I was blind by anger and, as I said, I think I was a little out of my mind.

I stood on the platform at the train station and watched as a train speeded past. You're never too young to die. I thought about, what would it be like, to take my own life? "To be, or not to be, that is the question." I muttered under my breath. The corner of my mouth twitched, thinking about how many people had misused that line when studying Shakespeare's Hamlet in class. How they'd said it as a joke. Now here I was, actually meaning it. Then a sudden thought occurred to me. If I wanted to die so badly, I could have just accepted MI6's offer. It would have killed me sooner or later. Then I laughed properly, earning me a few odd looks from passer bys. Definitely out of my mind, I thought, as I boarded the train.


	3. A Stab in the Dark

I don't know why I ended up in the centre of London. I just did. I found myself weaving in and out of the tourists stopping to take photos, and the business men rushing around whilst on the phone. I sat down, my head in my hands, and just listened to the buzz of people around me. What were their lives like? What were their names? I bet none of them looked at me and thought I was a spy. I bet none of them did that. I didn't know what to do. Where to go. How could I escape MI6's clutches? I couldn't, that was the answer. If I went back and I refused, they would move me to an orphanage. Then, if I still didn't help, no doubt they would do something worse until I gave in. What a mess, Alex, I thought, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.

* * *

Night fell and I was still in the centre of London. I couldn't go back. I couldn't go back to that life. I didn't want to stay in the crowds of tourists, so I moved away from London's attractions and into the dark alleys. It wasn't one of my best ideas ever because now, I was completely and utterly alone. The silence was welcome and all I could hear was the sound of my footsteps. I didn't think about the things that could go wrong at the time, I was just glad to be away from it all. Away from everything. I didn't dare turn my phone on, afraid that MI6 would be tracking me, but there were probably a million missed calls from Jack unless MI6 had already taken care of her.

If you've ever been out at night alone, then you'll probably know what I'm talking about. The jumpy feeling you get when someone walks by you and the fear welling inside when you hear angry shouts. I wasn't in the best part of London and it was getting late, so drunks and trouble makers weren't hard to come by. By the time I realised this, I was pretty much lost in the back streets. _Smart move_, I thought, _real smart move_. You'd think after all my experience with MI6, I'd have bit more common sense, but I wasn't thinking straight so I sat down on the street and moped. What was I doing? Waiting for daylight? But something found me before daylight even got out of bed.

I heard the breaking of glass and the sound of people laughing and shouting in the distance. But still I sat on the cold ground, not making a move. The voices came closer and I could just make out a few slurred words. My heart beat quickened a little and I hoped the people would just think that I was another drunk or that maybe they wouldn't notice me at all. There were two men, dressed in dark clothes, pushing and shoving each other as the wobbled down the alley. They wouldn't see me, I would just be another shadow to them, another dark shape in an alley full of dark shapes. I closed my eyes and waited for them to pass. "What you doing down here, kid?" Said a hard voice, the man's hot breath streaming down my neck. I didn't say anything. "You aren't one of us, are you?" I made to get up but strong arms pushed me back down.

"Look, he doesn't even have a family. Well, I'll tell you something kid," said the other man, "you aren't getting away with sitting on our street." I heard a _snick_, and then a few seconds later a small knife was pressed to my throat. I was such an idiot. I had to move. These guys were drunk, I could take them, right? I tried to get up again but the knife was pressed even harder into my skin so I sat, motionless. _Drunk men don't know what they're doing,_ I thought. "What do you think we should do with him?" Said one of the men.

"Oh, I don't know..." said the one that held the knife, "just teach the kid a lesson." Before I had time to brace myself or think about what was going to happen the knife came away from my throat and in a split second was thrust into my stomach. I gasped at the sudden pain, I think I was a little beyond crying out. Then the man moved the knife through my flesh, making a cut a few inches long and a few inches deep. You have no idea how much that hurts. The pain streaked through me like lightning. Fast and sharp. All my muscles tensed and my lungs seemed to seize up, so I couldn't yell, just take short shallow breaths. "Just because you two got yourselves drunk, doesn't mean you have to go hurting innocent people." Said a new voice, cold and hard. Funny thing was, it was a girl's voice. The men instantly leaped back to face the girl. The girl with a gun. "Now, I want you to go away, back home or to the next pub. To be honest, I'm not bothered where you go, just get yourselves out of here before you regret it."

"Look," began one of the men.

"I don't think you're stupid enough to try anything on me, even in this state. So scram, before I get a good enough look at your faces to remember them in the morning." The two men ambled off down the street, obviously this girl had some influence on them. But what? She looked about 14, with long brown hair and glittering blue eyes, but that's all I noticed before I closed my eyes against the pain again. The girl knelt down next to me and said "Let me see how badly you're hurt." I was reluctant to move my arm from my wound but I did and I heard the girl mutter a curse. "I'm going to call an ambulance-"

"No." I said, panicking. As soon as I was with the police or in hospital, MI6 would find me. "No, please, you can't."

"You'll bleed to death! Hey, I don't know if you have a death wish or something but I can't leave you here like this. You can kill yourself some other day but you're not doing it on my watch."

"Please, you can't call an ambulance." But I didn't seem to have much choice. It was that, or die.

"Bit of a painful way to go isn't it?" Said the girl.

"I...I don't want to die. It's just...just that I can't let them find me." Mixed emotions flickered across the girls face then but they only lasted a few seconds and then she said "run away, have you?" I nodded "I've been there but...look, it can't be that bad, trust me. If it's your parents or friends or-"

"No, _you_ trust _me_ and I'm telling _you_ that you have no idea." I looked her in the eye and I think she sort of guessed I was in trouble then. "If I help you now, you owe me big time. You got that?" I nodded. "I want to hear you say it."

"I understand that I will owe you and I'm willing to pay whatever it is." I said in a strained voice, conscious of my blood soaked shirt. The girl whistled through her teeth and said "some trouble you're in mate." She helped me up, but I couldn't straighten up properly. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. The girl took off her leather jacket and pressed it hard against my cut, I winced and she said "you need to keep the pressure on that, I just need to call someone." The girl took out her phone and as she was waiting for an answer she said "by the way, my names Robin."

"Alex," I said. Then I wondered what kind of trouble I'd gotten myself into. I was in debt to this girl now and I didn't even know what I was paying. Was this really better than working for MI6? Then I remembered their blackmail and their manipulating ways. How they pretended to be my friend. How I'd be helping them if I was working for them. How they'd ruined my life. Yes, this was definitely better, I thought as I stood bleeding in a London back street.


	4. Healing in a Makeshift Hospital

Robin got an answer on the phone and said "Hi...yeah it's me, look I need a lift...me and someone else...ok...yep, the road north of here...ok, see you in 5." She put the phone down and turned to me "come on then, Alex. A two minute walk and then we're getting picked up." Robin looked down at my wound and cursed again, pressing down harder than I had been. We walked as fast as I could manage until we came to a road, where we stopped. I leant against a wall, bent double with the pain. A few minutes later a car drew up beside us and Robin went over to it and said "nice day, isn't it?"

"Can hardly say that when the sun's not out." Said the driver.

"The suns always out, you just need to know where to look for it." Replied Robin.

"The sun turns white at night. People call it the moon." Robin nodded at the driver's response and ushered me into the back of the car. "What was that all about?" I said, blood seeping between my fingers. "Security procedure," said Robin, pressing down on my stomach with such force I winced, she looked at me and said "you wanted my help. So if you want to live, you're going to have to suffer a little. We don't have the luxury that hospitals do round here. Far from it in fact."

* * *

We got out of the car at an elegant looking hotel. It stood out like a beacon amongst all the other dilapidated buildings. Robin lead the way and I followed on her heels, she turned sharply left and swiped a key in the lift for the doors to open. The metal doors parted with a hiss and we stepped inside. "Phew," said Robin as the lift began to slowly make its way up. "I'm glad nobody saw you, it would have raised a few awkward questions. "

"Why are we in a hotel?"

"Oh, it's not a hotel. They're apartments for...us." The lift juddered to a halt and the lights went off, leaving us in complete darkness. The black seemed to swell around me, it seemed to be breathing. The darkness seemed alive and it was ready to swallow me, ready to crush me. "Hold onto the bar next to you." Said Robin.

"Wha-"

"Do it!" I grabbed a metal bar firmly and held on, but my cut began to bleed more freely and my hot blood ran down my body and I heard it drip on the floor. "Robin reporting here with one passenger."

"Voice activation successful. The lift will now proceed." Said an electronic voice that seemed to speak from everywhere. I hoped it wasn't coming from inside my head. It was like the voice of the world. The voice of my fate. It felt as if I was losing consciousness but then the lights flashed back on, glaring harshly in my face. The lift jerked upwards suddenly and it felt as if I had left my stomach somewhere on the ground floor. I slammed into the metal back of the lift, just another shot of pain to add to my endless torture. The lift stopped and the doors hissed open, Robin helped me out. "Told you to hold on." She said in a 'what did I tell you' sort of voice.

We stood in the penthouse apartment, the huge windows looking out over London, millions of little lights, blinking on and off. My vision blurred and, if I wanted to, I could have imagined I was looking at a Christmas tree with dancing fairy lights. But I didn't want and I barely even noticed the trail of blood I was leaving on the pristine laminate floor. Robin lead me into the bathroom, which was really big compared to any other bathroom you've ever seen. It was the size of one of those showroom bathrooms that you see in shops, the ones that make you think 'I wish I had a bath that size.' The bath in there had a lid that could be pulled on top of it, so Robin told me to sit there and take my shirt off. I undid the buttons of my once white shirt, and tugged it off, not wanting to look at the crimson stain that had spread too far for my liking.

Robin got a cloth and gently wiped the blood away from the surrounding area, I watched her face and her eyes widened and she chewed her lip. "Can you...can you do anything?"

"Yes but," Robin busied herself with getting things out of the cupboard "Alex, can you promise me that you'll close your eyes while I do this?"

"Why?"

"Just...look, you're going to have to trust me. I'm going to help you but, I really don't want you to look."

"Alright."

"Even if it hurts, keep your eyes closed. Just trust me that I'm not doing anything bad."

I swallowed, this girl was the only chance I had, I had no choice but to trust her. "Ok, I'll trust you."

"Good. It's a clean cut, so you're lucky. You're not allergic to anything are you?"

"No, why?"

"Because of the creams and sprays and antiseptics. This is going to sting." Robin rubbed something onto my cut and I flinched. It got worse the longer it was there and I blinked back the tears. "Right, now you're going to have to close your eyes." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, bracing myself for what was going to happen next. My cut was already sending jets of pain throughout my system, it was hard to believe it could get any worse.

It wasn't that bad. It hurt but what had been sharp, agonising pain turned into a dull ache. I think it was down to Robin really. I expected her hands to be clumsy and rough but quite the opposite. I barely felt her fingers on my skin as she did, whatever it is she was doing. She'd done this before. A lot of times. Do you remember, when you were younger, and you fell and cut your knee, and your mum would clean it and put cream on it and all that? Well, she'd do it with a firmness that was enough to be painful but Robin's touch was light and I barely felt a thing. I thought she wouldn't care about how much it hurt me, because all we'd done was made a deal that if she helped me then I'd help her. But she actually seemed to care about my feelings.

"I'm done now." Said Robin, "you can open your eyes." I looked down at my stomach and saw that Robin had given me stitches, I couldn't quite believe my eyes. It looked like the work of a professional. "It didn't hurt too much did it?" She asked.

"No," I said truthfully, "how did you...?"

"Oh, just basic first aid skills." She said, shrugging the question off. Her eyes scanned my bare chest, looking at all my scars "been in a lot of fights, haven't you?" she said.

"No, not fights. I'm just clumsy I guess. I do a lot of sports and I get hurt." From the way Robin looked at me, I don't think she believed my lie. Her eyes froze where the sniper had shot me. "Alex..." she said quietly "how did you get that scar?"

"Fell off my bike. Had to go into hospital, it was really bad." Her blue eyes fixed mine and she said in a level tone "You're a good liar, Alex. But not quite as good as me." She looked back at my scar and said "bike accident eh? Some accident." I held my breath but she didn't ask any more questions instead she said "I suppose you'll want a shower and...I think I can find some clean clothes for you." Robin left the room, leaving me sat there with my heart pounding and my mind racing. She knew what my scar was. She knew. But she hadn't said anything. Why? Robin had saved my life and she hadn't turned me in. But I owed her something and despite her hospitality, I was scared.


	5. What can I say? I'm a spy

Later, I was sat on the spare bed in Robin's apartment. Robin came in and sat down on the other end of the bed, facing me and said "So, tell me, Alex. Why did you run away?"

"I-" I began, not sure what to say, "it's complicated."

"Look, if you tell me, I can help you out. I can't let you go back onto the streets or this will happen again."

"I got involved with some people and now I can't shake them off. I'm trying to get away from them."

"People?" Said Robin "I could do something about that...I think. Depends who they are. As you've probably noticed, something's not quite right with me. I'm part of the Mafia and I have quite a high position so people listen to me."

"The Mafia?" I said, my heart skipping a beat. "But...but you helped me?"

"I know." Robin sighed "I'm not what you'd call a typical family member, I'm more of a rebel. But whoever these people are, I can probably sort them out." Then she said a little more quietly "Alex, you didn't fall off your bike did you?" I shook my head, no point in lying when she already knew something was up. "I know a bullet wound when I see one. Sniper?" This was scary, she even knew what gun it was that shot me. I nodded again. "Those people...it was something to do with them, right?"

"Yes, but, you don't want to get involved-" Robin's phone rang then and she said,

"Sorry, I'm just going to have to answer this...hello?" As Robin spoke on the phone I thought about how to get out of the questions she was asking me. If she found out I was a spy then she'd turn me in, no matter how nice she was. She was part of the Mafia! They'd torture me for information I didn't have. My thoughts stopped when I heard Robin say "I can't believe they'd do this! MI6 are meant to be the 'good guys', how could they stoop so low? And then they moan about us using kids...yes...I know, but we've been searching for weeks now...this is useless, we're never going to find anything. Someone else will find out before us and then that'll be it. So much for trying to help...yes, ok...let me know if you get anything...bye." Robin hung up. My heart was racing at just the mention of MI6. "Do you mind me asking what that was about?" I said.

"Well, I don't suppose it could do any harm...just don't go to the police or something." She laughed "not that they could do anything about it anyway. Anyway, MI6, British Intelligence, you heard about them?"

"Yes." A little more than I would have liked, I thought bitterly, my relationship with them could have been a little less personal. "Well, they're not just in stories and films, they're real and I thought they were all good and honest until now. The Mafia uses children all the time because you're sort of born into this thing and MI6 have always frowned upon this, not that they can do anything about it. But now, what do they go and do? They go and recruit a teenager to be a spy!" I almost choked at this and I glanced nervously at Robin to make sure she hadn't noticed. She hadn't because she was staring out of the window. "Did they even bother to think about what could happen to him? Not only does this make them hypocrites but cruel as well. We survive here, in the Mafia, because children are brought up to survive, but it's our way of life. No matter how good this spy is, he's not going to be ready for what's coming."

"What's coming?" I asked, trying not to let my voice give anything away.

"The whole of the Mafia are looking for him, that's what. They think they can use him as either bait or for information...probably both. But then there's me and the other rebels, we're like a group who...well, are better than common criminals and try not to do too many bad things, and we're trying to find this spy before everyone else does so we can protect him. It's hard going though, all we know is he's about 14 and a boy. We haven't even got a name, just that he has a connection with Ian Rider." She smiled at me "not that you'd know who he was but sometimes...it helps to tell people about things."

"So...why do you want to help this spy? What's in it for you?" I was surprised at how steady my voice was because, inside, my nerves were falling to pieces. "Nothing, I guess." Said Robin shrugging "I just want to help. It...it reminds me of the position I'm in. Apparently, MI6 blackmailed this boy into becoming a spy, threatened him in some way. After the first time they used him, he tried to pull out...but they wouldn't let him. You see, Alex, I have no choice but to stay here. I hate being a criminal but if I try and leave...well, you wouldn't want to know what happens to traitors."

I didn't know what to do, how did I know if Robin was telling the truth? But...if she was, I was done for. There was no way I could hide from the whole Mafia, no way. They'd get me in the end. The way things were going at the moment though, it looked as if someone was going to get me anyway. How would I tell her though? I could hardly just say 'oh great! You're on my side. By the way, I forgot to mention earlier, I work for MI6 and might be this spy you're looking for.' No, it wouldn't work that way. I sighed, she'd probably find out anyway, she would see right through my lies. "So, Alex," said Robin "enough of my problems, tell me about yours."

"I..." I couldn't do it. I was scared, so scared of telling her.

"Ok, we'll start with basic things then. Your name, age, where you live, what you like to do in your free time, friends..."

I took a deep breath and said "alright, Robin. I'll tell you a story. You want to believe it, you can. If you don't...well, your loss. My name is Alex Rider and I'm 14 years old. Once upon a time I was a normal kid, living in Chelsea with friends at school and an Uncle to look after me at home, since my parents died when I was too young to remember them. I had..._have_ a house keeper called Jack, who looked after me when my Uncle went away. Then my Uncle died and my life went downhill because, turns out, my Uncle wasn't a bank manager, but a spy...and he worked for MI6. Guessed who I'm running away from yet?" There was silence as Robin just sat there and stared at me with wide eyes.

"I can't believe it..." She said slowly "that was...you weren't lying."

"True story." I sighed "so, you want any more information so you can find me before the others?"


	6. Phoning Home

**Author's Note: You've probably forgotten all about this story and, I know, it really was horrible to leave you waiting this long and I'm really sorry. Honest. But I read Scorpia Rising the other day and...wow. So, yeah, I got inspired to write and I can only hope this was worth the wait. I love all reviews and any sort of feedback is also welcome. Thank you so much to all of you who have stayed with me. :)**

* * *

I awoke with sunlight shining in my eyes and for a moment, I wondered where I was. I half expected myself to be back at home in my room but as I turned over and felt the sharp pain from my wound, I remembered. I remembered MI6 and their missions and me running away and the drunks and Robin...Robin. I groaned inwardly and shut my eyes for a minute, thinking. She was one of them, one of the Mafia and yet...I trusted her. After she'd gotten over the initial shock of who I was she'd been rather helpful and I didn't think she was going to turn me in. I hoped she wasn't. Slowly, very slowly, I sat up and quickly, very quickly lay flat on my back again as the burning pain shot through my body. I drew in a sharp involuntary breath and gritted my teeth. I'd been shot before, this should be nothing, a scratch, I could take this...right? There was a knock at the door but I couldn't answer as my head was still swimming. The door inched open anyway and Robin came in. "Are you alright?" She said.

"Fine." I just about managed.

"Do you...do you want to get up?" I hesitated, thinking about how much it would hurt. "Don't worry, you don't have to go anywhere." Robin came over to me "I just thought you might want to get up and eat something, have a shower, you know." I nodded. "Right, just roll onto your side and..." After a few minutes I was up and sat at the table in the kitchen, a little dizzy but other than that, in no pain. "So, what do you want? I can get pretty much anything." Said Robin peering into the fridge. "It's fine," I started "I don't-"

"You are going to eat, like it or not. Do you know how much blood you lost yesterday?" I grudgingly agreed to eat. Some cereal and a mug of tea that Robin insisted I have, some strange herbs that would supposedly make me feel better. "Can I make a phone call?" I said, thinking about Jack and how worried she'd be. I didn't want to be tracked, I didn't want to go back but...I didn't want Jack to feel as if I'd left her. I had to explain. "Yes, I suppose so." Robin grinned "untraceable phone?"

"If you have one." I guess that's one advantage of hanging around with the Mafia. Robin handed me a phone and I dialled my home number. I held my breath as the phone rang. And rang. And rang some more. I couldn't put it down. I wouldn't. She'd pick up, she had to. "_Please leave a message-" _I reluctantly put the phone down as the automated answer machine came on. Robin obviously saw the distress on my face and said "look, it's Jack you want to call right?" I nodded, clutching the phone tightly in my hand, feeling the plastic become warm and damp in my grip. What had they done...? "I'll do a bit of research for you." I frowned. Research? Seriously, did she think-? "I'll just look around in a few places I'm not meant to, find out where she is. Simple." My face must have still looked puzzled so she said "in plain terms Alex, I'm going to hack MI6's database."

I snorted "what? Super girl is a computer geek too?" It hadn't meant to come out quite as sneering as it did and I immediately regretted saying it. Robin was only trying to help. "I'm sorry, I-"

Robin brushed it off with a wave of her hand "I can't but a friend of mine gave me a programme that lets me." She said, pulling out her laptop. I sipped my tea as Robin tapped away at her laptop, I'd told her pretty much everything about my life. Not in great detail but the main things were there. What...why did I do it? How could I have been so careless? Well, I was in pretty deep now and there was no pulling out. I'd put everything on Robin. Everything I had. Her and the mafia. I shivered as a realisation hit me. She knew everything about me yet...what did I know about her? One thing was certain, I was going to find out as soon as possible. I found it hard to believe she was helping me because she felt sorry for me. In fact, I found it impossible to believe. Maybe it was something to do with the fact I owed her...I winced. I owed her something...but what? "Got something." Said Robin. My ears pricked up immediately. "A file here." She paused as her eyes scanned the screen "Jack's still here...she's still at your house but she's going to America soon." Another moment's pause "idiots. They changed the number of the phone. How do they expect to find you if you can't even call?" She plugged the phone in into the side of the laptop and handed it to me, the wire trailing over the table. "Ringing" she said.

I was nervous as I listened to the phone ring, worried what I would find at the other end. Instead of the automated message the phone was picked up and I held my breath for the second time that morning. "Hello?" Said Jack, she sounded tired but otherwise unharmed. I breathed a sigh of relief "hello? Is anyone there?" Said Jack again, I realised I hadn't yet said anything.

"Hi, Jack. It's...me." I said plainly.

"Wha...Alex?"

"Jack, is anybody else there with you? Anyone at all?" I said hurriedly, if MI6 realised she was talking to me...if they knew. "No, no. It's just me. Alex, are you alright? Where are you? What-?"

"Jack, I'm fine. I'm..." I paused "...with a friend. But listen, you can't tell MI6 anything. They tried to use me again, I'm sorry I left but I needed to get away from it all. Looks like I'm in a spot of bother again but what's happening to you? They haven't done anything to you because of me have they? Because if they have-"

"No, Alex. They're sending me back to America, though. Probably to get at you. Look, Alex, you've got to tell me what's going on. What trouble? Where-?"

"No, Jack. I can't. I've had enough of MI6 and I can't tell you or they'll use you because of it." My voice caught in my throat as I said this next bit, but I had to "Jack, you'll be alright in America. Away from them. Right now, I'm ok, don't worry about me and, when all this is cleared up, I'll come and see you. I swear. You'll see, it'll all be alright."

"No, Alex! I'm not leaving-"

"Jack, please. Listen to me." I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't. "I've got it all planned out, I..." Robin motioned to me to give her the phone, a sort of understanding on her face. "Jack, I'm just going to let you speak to my friend. Ok?"

I passed over the phone and Robin said "Miss Starbright? Hello...yes, I understand but...please...no, listen to me now. Alex is safe. I promise. I'm doing everything I can and will carry on doing it. I'm going to try and fix it...I don't break my promises...Who am I? Well, I can't tell you that. I'm not even too sure myself, but I'll tell you this. Alex will be ok with me. I can't promise he won't get bruised a little, a little scratched, damaged. But by the end of this, I promise, he'll be alive and well and you'll see him again...It is more than my life's worth to break my promise...Goodbye." Robin handed the phone back to me and I looked at her, a bemused expression on my face. "Hi, Jack." I said again.

"Alex, I'm not exactly happy about this. But you make sure you tell your friend that if anything happens to you, anything at all..."

"Jack, I'll be fine. I'll try to call you again...soon."

"Well, look after yourself. I know what you're like."

"You too. Bye Jack."

"Bye." I put the phone down and handed it back to Robin.

"Alright?" She said.

"Yes...why did you go and say that you can't promise that I won't get hurt? It would have made Jack rest easy."

Robin looked at me, her face an expressionless mask, her eyes gleaming. "Because, Rider, I'm not in the habit of breaking my promises and, you see, that's one thing I'm not prepared to guarantee. I can, on the other hand, guarantee your over all safety but that safety comes at a price."

* * *

Over the next few days I discovered that Robin wasn't really all that bad. In fact, she was quite normal. Nice. If I had met her under normal circumstances I think I could have called her a friend. I was still unable to actually go out and walk anywhere but I didn't really mind too much because Robin was good company. I almost forgot about MI6 and the Mafia. Almost.

I woke up on the fourth day of my arrival and Robin she said she was going out, which left me on my own for the first time. In any other instance I would have used this as an opportunity to look around but I somehow felt...guilty. Still, I found myself opening a drawer and then uncomfortably looking over my shoulder, half expecting Robin to be there even if I'd seen her walk out the door with my own eyes. I didn't really find anything of interest. There were some legal documents, forged or real I had no idea but I kept my mind open to the fact that they could be either. Then there were just the usual things you found in a house. Well, she did have some guns, knives and other strange looking weapons that I didn't fancy being on the receiving end of. But that was only to be expected and anyway, if she wanted to hurt me she could have slit my throat long ago or left me in the street to die...couldn't she?


	7. Mafia in Blood Red Shirts

**Author's Note: Well, there's a bit more action here you'll be glad to hear, I know it's been a bit slow going. Ok, my representation of the Mafia isn't really very realistic. But it's my little representation that I quite like. Right now, it seems even less realistic than it will later on but I hope you'll bear with me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and don't be afraid to R&R (I like hearing what you think) Thank you :)**

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Robin came back several hours later, I had long finished searching and I hoped my guilty conscience didn't show. I could almost feel it, written in big letters across my forehead but I brushed it aside and turned my attention to Robin. "Well, I haven't spoken to anyone yet...not really anyway. I thought I'd wait for you to be with me to do that. I got you a disguise." She grinned "you'll look like one of us now, Alex. Oh, here," Robin offered me a gun, the weapon lingered in the air between us. I looked at it for a moment. The thing that could take someone's life so easily. So fast. "I don't want it." I said, finally tearing my gaze away from it and making up my mind. "You don't have to use it." Said Robin, as if this was obvious. She snorted "do you think I'm crazy enough to give you a gun with bullets?" She put the gun on the table and I looked at it as if it might bite me. She rolled her eyes, a little exasperated "what do you think you're going to look like walking around without a gun or a knife or something? You're one of the Mafia now, well that's what everyone else has to think anyway." I reached out and took the gun, feeling the weight of it in my hand. It was quite small. A pistol. Good quality. "Carry it around, let people see it." Robin paused and said quietly "I wouldn't ask you to kill someone. You know that, don't you?"

"Would you?" I asked, not really making clear what I was asking. I didn't really want to. She didn't have to answer but... "No." Said Robin "not unless I had to." Her gaze turned distant then and one of her hands balled into a fist. "I try not to kill. I try really hard. It was only a few times..." Her voice was just above a whisper and was that...a tear? But it never ran down her face because she shook herself then and came back to her senses. "Let me see your wound and then...how do you feel about going out?"

A few hours later I stood in front of a mirror and looked at myself. I'd been in a few disguises before and I didn't look that different in this one but...I felt like another person. This time, I wasn't doing it for MI6. The thing that really got me was, I was on the complete other side to them. Another world. Yet too similar for comfort. All the killing, the secrets...the danger. I sighed, red shirt, black leather jacket and trousers...a gun. I looked at the gun for a moment and attached it to my belt. That was the thing that really looked out of place. "Ready?" Said Robin, coming in.

"You could have knocked, what if I hadn't been?"

"Then you wouldn't have been." She shrugged "I gave you enough time, the only thing I would have seen was you staring at yourself in the mirror. Different?"

"Different." I said, turning to face her. There was a look of something like amusement on her face, then she turned serious and said "take this, don't worry, it's not lethal." She handed me a badge, it was in the shape of a ribbon. The red jewels that covered it were set in gold and I couldn't help wonder if they were real or not. "Wear it. Don't lose it whatever you do. Cost a fortune those things do! Why, I had to go and track down a few dead bodies to get them back." I looked at Robin and tried to give the badge back to her "I don't think-" she shook her head and smiled, closing my fist around the badge. "No, keep it. It shows you're under my protection and I was just kidding about the dead bodies. Lose it if you want but it'll be at your own expense."

"But why-"

"It's my symbol. It'll put some people off straight away, most people I hope. They know if they hurt you, they have to deal with me. It'll make some people come after you though, because of me. But that's ok because I don't think they'll kill you. Most likely take you hostage to get information out of me." My eyes widened at this but Robin quickly said "don't worry. Just trust me, I'm not going to let them do anything. I'll give them whatever they want it I can't spring you...illegally. Then again, just about everything around here is illegal."

"Look, Robin. You've been really nice and all but...why should I trust you?" I had to get this over with, I just had to ask. "I know it's all very well you wanting to help and all, but I think I'd feel a little better if you were getting something out of this."

She didn't take it bad, she just shrugged as if she'd been expecting it. "I wouldn't trust me if I were you, either. You don't know who I am. You're just going to have to take my word for it. Go with it now and decide for yourself later, it's a thing only time will tell. You're just going have to be patient."

Later, as we were going to the door, Robin paused before she turned the key and said "Alex, you're not a bad person, I don't want you to get hurt. If something happens and I tell you to go, you go." She turned around and looked me in the eye "are you ready?" She said. I nodded and Robin turned the key and opened the door "good, because this is only the beginning."

* * *

It wasn't exactly nice this place we went. I know you always hear about these stories that the Mafia have places they go, where other people don't go, well, they were true. A network of streets and houses and who knows what else, full of people with guns and knives. Most of them in uniform, blood red shirts. "The real blood doesn't show as much." Said Robin. I wasn't sure if she was joking or not. "Right, here's a quick history lesson for you. The Mafia is split into several families and this is my family. Our colour, as you can see, is red and this place here is our territory. Since no one is hiding the fact they're criminals, everyone wears this uniform. I guess we're sticklers for tradition. There are different levels of fights and arguments, so don't get the idea that it's safe here. In any of our big fights, we're all on the same side. Family against family. But, right now, it's every man for himself. Gangs fight. People fight. Right, history lesson over. Let's go."

I was a bit dazed by all of this and I walked through the crowded streets. No one spared me a glance. It felt as if I'd walked straight into some film, well, my life was pretty much a great big spy film. But this, I shook my head. This really took the biscuit. This wasn't anything like what gangs were like...was it? It looked quite quiet, no violence. All dressed up in uniform. It was more some sort of group or organisation who met on a regular basis. Well, this was one side you never saw, it was only later that I discovered that I really wasn't getting the full picture.

"Hey, Robin!" Someone called over the general buzz in the street.

"Keep walking," muttered Robin under her breath, "nothing but trouble that guy." She kept her head down and I did my best to follow her. Despite her attempts to evade the owner of the voice, he caught up anyway. "Hey, Robin." Said a tall man who'd come up next to us. He was slim, athletic looking with a mop of brown curly hair and a hooked nose. He had a scar from one eye to his mouth, slanting across his face.

"Hi." Said Robin, no emotion in her voice.

"Who's your friend?"

"Just a friend." She paused "Alex."

"Alex? Not seen you around before, where've you been?" Thankfully, Robin saved me from embarrassment and said "he's just come back from America. You remember that plane they sent over there?"

"Ah, yes! Well, welcome back." I nodded in thanks "anyway, I was meaning to ask you if you-"

"No. I'm busy. I have business to attend to."

"Come on, there are some guys who want to see you about something."

"Yeah, sure."

"Just you and me again Robin, yeah?" There was something I didn't quite like about this man, there was something about his smile the way he placed his hands.

"Look," Said Robin, her voice low and dangerous "I haven't forgotten so don't act like it never happened. You're a double crossing little cheat and don't think I can't see that knife you have up your sleeve." That was it. That was what was odd about him. The man held his hand strangely, curved up, and I could just about make out the hilt of a dagger. "Not now. I'll come and see you another time and we can sort this out."

"I don't think so." The man had pulled his dagger out now, it glinted in the light. So sharp...

"You can have your money. To be honest, I'm not bothered about the money, Chris. Just let me go now and I'll come and see you first thing tomorrow."

"I don't like to be one to hurt pretty girls," said Chris, running his knife gently over Robin's throat so it didn't leave a mark. She didn't flinch but her eyes flickered. "But sometimes, they leave me no choice. I want more than money." Then she struck. I didn't quite see where the knife went, everything was pretty much a blur. But, in the end, Chris ended up sat on the floor, blood streaming from his nose. Robin turned to me and she opened her mouth to say something, her eyes widened but I had already felt the cold blade against my throat. "What you going to do, now?" Said a gruff voice, the man holding the knife chuckled and I tensed as the blade moved with his laughter. Chris got to his feet and Robin eyed him warily as another man came up behind her. "Want to try again, Robin?" Said Chris, his eyes smiling as he wiped the blood off his face. "You make a move and Alex over there is dead."

"This is between you and me. Let Alex go and I'll come with you."

"I think you'll find you're coming anyway." Robin glanced at me, sizing up the man behind me. He pressed the blade into my throat harder. I could do something, why didn't I- Because I was surrounded by criminals. One move and they'd all be on me...or I'd be dead. So I just stood there and watched Robin as she said "Lead the way." As we walked, me with a knife to my throat and Robin with a gun to her back, I thought _you coward, Alex Rider. You coward..._


	8. Not Quite a Coward

**Author's Note: Well, here it is. I've been quite good with my updates lately but it seems a little too good to last. There might not be another one in a while. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and don't be afraid to R&R. I love hearing your thoughts. :)**

* * *

We were taken to a dilapidated building, roof tiles were missing, bricks were crumbling and the wooden door frame was splintered. Inside it was gloomy and the air was heavy with smoke that I later discovered came from a Cuban cigar. The man who smoked it sat at a table that had three legs, once it may have had four but only two of the original appeared to be there and a makeshift one propped the other end up. The man's restless hands played with the cards and the few coins that littered the table top but he stopped abruptly when we came in. "Well, well, look who it is. If it isn't little Robin. Come crawling back to me have you? Well, you'd better give me what I want or you'll be lying in the gutter by tomorrow morning."

"Always nice to see you too, Al." Spat Robin, her face twisted into a sour expression.

"You keep frowning like that and one day you'll never get your smile back. Shame, pretty smile you got-"

"That what happened to you? Wouldn't surprise me, bet you never had anything to smile at. Nobody in their right mind would want to make you happy."

"Quit answering back if you ever want anyone to see your smile again." He waited, to see what she'd reply.

"Don't know what you want me to say. I'm hardly crazy enough to say something like 'make me'".

"Because you know that I would." Al grinned, showing his crooked yellow teeth "see, I still got my smile on me. Not the pearly whites they used to be but-"

"Look, Al. I appreciate we haven't seen each other in a while but I'd like to know what exactly you want and when I can give it to you." Robin wasn't taking any messing. That much was apparent when she pulled out her gun and levelled it with Al's head."I'm not here for a verbal sparring match but I will put a bullet in your head if you make me"

"Oh, Robin." Drawled Chris, I'd almost forgotten about him "don't you ever learn? Just turn around," Robin didn't bother "you want your friend to die? Because, he will, if you don't put your fancy gun back where it came from." Slowly, Robin put her gun back inside her jacket and clenched and unclenched her fists repeatedly. "What. Do. You. Want." She growled, each word coming out separately as if she didn't quite believe she had to do what they were asking. "You mentioned the money." Chris waved a hand "I'm not too bothered about that but, if you have it, then don't forget to stop by and give it to me. No, what I really want is information."

"I know a lot of things, Chris. But, if it's of any interest to you, I probably have no idea."

"We'll see." Said Chris, he grabbed my arm and brought me to stand in front of Robin. "Alex here has just come back from spying in America. He's done quite well to survive, don't you think? If you want him to live a little longer, you're going to tell us some more about a spy. A different one." Chris held a knife to my throat and I adjusted my eyes to look at his hand. It was damp and shaking, ever so slightly. _He was scared. _"You and your rebels have been looking into this just as much as the rest of us. MI6 have a spy. What do you know?"

"He's around 14. We don't have a picture, or a name. We think he's living somewhere in the north of England but someone heard something about MI6 moving him to Spain or something."

"That's not it, is it?"

"No." Robin smiled "but why should I tell you any more? You're holding my friend hostage and, for all I know, you might kill him even if I give you all the information you want. Why should I trust you? Give me one good reason."

Chris searched for an answer before stumbling on his words and saying "Because you have no other choice."

"Valid point." Said Robin, shrugging "but, as you know, I take a lot of risks. I'm going to take one now." At this, Chris's arm stiffened, and, if I wasn't mistaken, the knife slid from his grip a little and his hand shook a little bit faster. Robin had hit something. Looks like Chris isn't quite as clever as he seemed and he wasn't going to take any risks. "Let him go and I'll talk. After all, you still have me. Me, a girl, against four men." Robin raised her eyebrows "surely even you can do the maths for that Chris." Chris frowned at the insult. _Give it up, Robin. He's not stupid enough to just- _Or maybe he was. Robin knew him better than me. "Whatever. Get out of here kid." Chris roughly let me go, letting the blade dig into me for a moment, leaving a fine red streak across my neck. It stung but not so much I was about to moan about it.

"That was a dirty trick, Chris." Said Robin walking over to him "You want to play dirty?" There was a click as Robin pulled back the hammer on her gun "Then we'll play dirty." Robin glared at me and motioned with her head to get out. I knew she'd probably be alright now, that it was just the threat of me dying that kept her tethered. But I am not a coward and my conscience wouldn't allow me to leave. I made as if to leave and as I was walking past the door I went up behind one of the men. It's amazing what effect hitting someone on the side of the head has. He fell to the ground like a stone. Heads turned to look at me and Chris looked a little surprised. _What did he expect? _"There's still three of us and only two of you." Said Chris in attempt to regain his confidence. Right on cue, the man at the back of the room keeled over as if pushed by an invisible hand. "Correction. Two. Now we're evenly matched." Said Robin, smiling and pulling out a poison dart. "Want me to stick you with this too?"

"Why you little-"

"Let us go and I won't hurt you." Robin's gun was still cocked and I wondered whether that was just for show or if there were bullets inside it. "Let you go?" Sneered Chris, "I've chased you for days and I'm just going to let you go? I don't think so." He knocked the gun from Robin and slammed her into the nearby wall. I would have done something if Al hadn't come lumbering over to me with a gun in his hand. He pulled another one out and handed it to me. I'm not sure why I took it, it must have had something to do with that mad look in his eyes. "Let them fight it out but I don't fight like that. Whoever shoots first, dies last."

"I don't-" I began

"Would you rather me shoot you and not give you a chance?" I think Al had really lost his mind. Maybe at some point he was one of the better Mafia, the ones with honour. But now he was just crazy. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, his pupils seemed to take up most of the space and the whites of his eyes were only just visible. Mad. Mad or drugged, either one was dangerous. For me and him. I wasn't going to shoot him but I was scared to move in case he shot me. I had to buy some time, I pulled back the hammer. Al watched me with an amused expression on his face. Over on the other side of the room Robin called Chris a name I probably shouldn't repeat. I was going to have to do something. I could do it. I wasn't a coward. I almost did it, almost. But then I lowered my hand in defeat, not quite a coward but still not brave enough to do something. I'd tried, tried and failed. Then Al fell to the floor, a poison dart sticking out from his neck. "Thanks," I said.

"Don't mention it." Said Robin trying to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry I...I couldn't do it. I'm a coward, I-"

"Don't be sorry." Robin said, her voice hard. "If there's something I've got to tell you it's never be sorry for not killing someone. Never. You're not a coward but you're not a cold calculating machine. You didn't kill him." Robin nodded "that's good." Then as we were walking back out Robin said "you didn't leave. I asked you to leave."

"I wasn't going to leave you-"

"I know." Robin turned around and smiled "I guess I underestimated you. Al was crazy, he wasn't quite right since he lost his position in his gang."

"Yeah, I thought he might be. " Then a sudden thought struck me "what did you do to Chris?"

"I think I knocked him out...I was going to use this dart," she handed it to me, I looked at it closely, the fine needle and small handle, easy to get through searches and stick into someone without them noticing "but I didn't have to. Funny thing was, I didn't hit him too hard either..." Robin trailed off. "We need to go. Now. I don't think-" Robin never had chance to finish her sentence because Chris came out of the dark passage, his face and hands covered in blood, a gun clutched in his shaking hand, pressed against Robin's temple. "You messed up my face," Chris said, breathless "you got the better of me too many times. Now, you're going to say goodbye-" the gun fell from his grip and clattered to the ground. Chris swayed for a moment and then dropped, his head hitting the road with a crack. "Poison dart." I said holding out a hand for Robin who'd slumped against the wall "are you alright?"

"Fine." She said, taking my hand and pulling herself into a standing position. "Thanks to you." Once we were back on the streets Robin said "you know what this means, don't you?"

"What?"

"You don't owe me anything anymore."

"What, that was it?" Robin nodded "but, you didn't even ask me to help you. I just did."

"And if you hadn't I'd be dead."

"I think you probably would have gotten out of it. It strikes me that you're something of a survivor."

"I get by." Robin shrugged.

"But...are you really going to let me off now?"

Robin laughed "let you off? You just saved my skin. I wasn't going to hold it against you anyway, you probably would never have had to repay me. Look Alex, I don't want to keep a count of favours because, as it's going now, I think we'll lose track pretty soon. There are two types of people I deal with. The people I do business with and the people I don't like. They're the people I do 'favours' and 'owing' with. Then there are the people I like, my friends. The people I help unconditionally. There are varying degrees of this but, we don't owe each other. Do you want to be a friend or shall we keep this formal?" I looked at Robin. She'd been nice, she'd helped me. But she was Mafia. _So what? I'm a spy! If she's nice, what have I got to lose? _I laughed then and said "alright, Robin. Friends it is. After all, I think we're a little past formality already."


	9. Darling Dearest Daddy

**Author's Note: I'm sorry about the wait, it has been ages since I last updated. I originally intended the whole story to be told from Alex's point of view but it would be a little boring if it was because he's going to be a little in the dark here. I was going to have Robin explain but I like to show not tell so you'll be getting a bit of an insight into Robin's mind here. The first part is still in Alex's point of view, there's a little sign post to let you know when I'm changing points of view. Anyway, I hope it's been worth waiting for and don't forget to leave any comments you have about my work. All reviews are much appreciated. Thank you :)**

* * *

"You didn't have to lie for me, you know." I said, feeling a little guilty about what Robin had done for me "they could have...killed you if they found out you were lying."

"And they would have killed you if I told them the truth." She shrugged "I've had too much practice lying, Alex. More than I would have liked. It takes one clever person to know when I'm not telling the truth. One good thing about today's trip is that I found out how much information people have about you. Clueless, they were. They'd only heard rumours. It's just the more...accomplished people we have to watch out for."

"So...what exactly are we going to do?"

"Well, Alex, you're going to stay here and do whatever it is you want to do," she said gesturing at her flat "but me, I'm going to go and see my dad. There are a few things I'm going to have to sort out."

"What, you're just going to leave me here?" I said, annoyed at the prospect of being shut indoors.

"It was a mistake taking you with me today, I'm sorry. I had an idea what to do but it's not safe for you yet. I have to sort some things out first, so stay here and I'll be back, hopefully by dark, and then I'll know what I'm doing with you."

"Alright," I agreed, knowing it was hopeless to argue.

"If I'm not back by the morning when you wake up something has probably happened. If you need anything call me first but if I don't answer and it's an emergency, call any of the other numbers on the fridge. They're my friends and I'm the only one who has that number so they'll help you." Robin left and I sighed. Why had I gotten myself into this mess? Why? There was nowhere I could hide. The 'good guys' were after me and the 'bad guys' were after me. What was I supposed to do? There was one girl in all of this. One girl who'd decided to help me. But I wasn't quite sure if she should be classed as good or bad.

**Robin's point of view**

I stepped out into the evening light, made my way to the road and hailed a cab. I looked at my clasped hands in my lap as the car bumped along the road, stopping occasionally in London's traffic. My hands. They'd done so many bad things. So many terrible things. I ran my fingers over a cut that was healing on my palm, the red streak still raised against my skin. I tried to be a better person, I tried. But sometimes circumstances wouldn't have it that way. Sometimes you had to be bad in order to be good. Sometimes. I tapped the driver on the shoulder when we got to the nice part of the city. The place where all the gleaming buildings stood. The place where the pavements could have been made of gold. Only the rich lived here. Only the people with money. The only thing was, not all of it was clean. I stood there as people bustled past me, as cars drove on. I stood there looking like a normal girl, not in my Mafia clothes but jeans and a T-shirt.

I pushed open the door that lead to a multi-storey building and began to wonder why I was helping Alex Rider. But, I already knew. He was like me. Trapped in this whole thing. I had to help, my conscience wouldn't allow me not to. I smiled to myself at the odd situation as I waited for the lift. One of the Mafia's most important members was soft and rebelling against the whole thing. One of the Mafia's most important members had a heart. I had a heart and I wasn't planning on losing it. I was a human and I wasn't going to lose my compassion, I wasn't. I wasn't going to turn into an animal. I couldn't. I got into the lift and punched in a code, what was it with important people and them having their offices at the top of buildings? I'd asked so many times not to live in the penthouse, thinking about how I could be cornered or fires could kill me easier. But as many times as I'd asked, I'd been told I had to stay there.

The lift doors slid open and I walked into my father's darkened office, I didn't hesitate to make my way towards his figure silhouetted against the window. "You really ought to get some decent lighting in here." I said into the silence. My father sighed and turned to face me and sat down at his desk. The lights flickered on. "What, I'm not important enough for the motion detectors to work for me?" I said, not in the mood for his showing off. He raised an arm revealing a strap on his sleeve that activated the lights. Even though this man was my dad, I still felt nervous under his gaze. He was always judging me. Always. I had to be careful. "Did you get that money?" He said quietly, his deep voice soft and utterly calm. It sent shivers running down my spine. It sent some people running out of the room. But that's the sort of effect my father could have on people. He was, after all, the Boss of our family. "It's in your account. It was in last week."

"What day?"

"Saturday."

"How much?"

"Eight hundred thousand pounds and forty six pence."

He chuckled softly "Excellent. I was just checking it was you who did the job." I stopped myself from snapping back at him. His dark eyes bore into me "well done, child. Well done."

"I came to you on...business today."

"I'm listening."

"It concerns MI6's teenage spy. I've an idea."

"What do you know?" He said, almost suspiciously.

"Not much but...say we found him-"

"Him?" Said my dad, looking at me.

"Well I know he's a 14 year old boy living somewhere in London. But, if we found him, would you consider protecting him?"

"What on earth do you mean?"

"Well, we could protect him from the other families. You could make everyone with us protect him and-"

"Robin." Said my father "this is all very nice but what exactly am I going to get out of protecting the boy? I want to use him to blackmail MI6, so does everyone else."

"Say we made a pact with MI6. If we told them we could protect him, they could...turn a few blind eyes. Only with our family, of course."

My father laughed "first, Robin. You'd have to find the boy, or at least know enough about him to find him. Then, you'd have to make MI6 agree. If you could do that Robin, I'd pinch myself to see if I was dreaming!"

"But, say they did agree. Would you protect him?"

"Of course! The things you come up with are always reliable you know. I always listen. You have that sort of mind on you. But, I think you've gone a little too far this time. Look, you got the money. I'm impressed. Don't try to push it."

"We'll see, Daddy. We'll see." I turned and stalked out of the room, a sly smile on my face, determination hard in my eyes. _We'll see, Daddy. Oh, darling dearest Daddy...we'll see what your daughter can do. _"Oh, yes we will." I muttered to myself as I walked out of the building grinning. Grinning because I knew it would be ok. I knew I'd do it. People say not to count your chickens before they hatch. But me? Well, I didn't have any chickens and even if I did I wouldn't count them but there was thing I could count on. Alan Blunt's face when he met me again. _Long time no see, Blunt. Long time no see. _


	10. Reluctantly Going Home

**Author's Note: Oh my, I thought I'd never be back. I am sorry. Really, I am. I'm kind of drifting away from fanfiction now...I mean, this was only meant to be a break from my original work but I'm going to try and finish this first. Despite it being neglected, I'm rather fond of this story and would hate to see it die half way through. Well, if you've forgotten about this story, I don't mind. I don't blame you. But, if you're still here with me then thank you. I hope you enjoy this. :)**

* * *

As I walked down the backstreets of London my cocky upbeat mood slowly diminished and I mentally slapped myself. I didn't want to linger too long since it was already night and even though I had a gun concealed under my T-shirt, I had no wish to meet anyone. Blunt wasn't going to be so easy. I should have known it. Why did I always have to go and make false promises? Why did I have to lie to myself? I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. Alright Blunt knew me and he'd let me go but...how well was he going to take seeing me again? The previous thrill of seeing his shock and gone and I was left feeling empty. Alone and unsure. I was about to pass a house of a friend I'd known for a long time when I shrugged and thought I may as well pay a visit. Alex had the pleasure of my company for the whole of the next day, it wouldn't kill him to wait a few more hours.

* * *

Alex's Point of view.

I sat waiting for Robin in the dark. I should have gone to sleep, I should have just gone to sleep and woke up in the morning. But I couldn't. I hate to admit it but I was...scared. That's right, scared. I didn't even dare move to turn on the light so I sat in the dark, curled up on a chair in the living room. I could feel my heartbeat, hear my breathing but as long as it was quiet it was ok. I was dreading a knock at the door. Dreading any noise at all. Then it came. A key turning in the lock. I turned my eyes blearily to the clock on the wall. 2:08am. Slowly, I stood up as the door was slammed shut and I crept into view. There was a muffled shriek and Robin flicked on the lights. "Alex! What are you doing? You scared the life out of me."

"Who'd you think it was?" I said a little more spitefully than I intended, not wanting to admit that I had been as scared as she was.

"I thought you'd be asleep. I thought someone had broken in. But, why aren't you in bed? Are you alright?"

"Fine," I said stiffly, about to turn away but Robin caught my arm. Grudgingly I looked at her.

"What happened?"

"I thought I'd wait until you came back...I wanted to tell you you had a phone call. They left a message."

"What are you scared of Alex?" Said Robin quietly, "I wouldn't have left you. I told you I'd help I-"

"Just listen to the message and I think you'll understand." I didn't mean to be horrible but I was tired and the stupid person calling had scared me witless. Robin looked at me, her brow furrowed before walking over to the phone. She pressed the button and the message played out in the room, the cold voice that had rang out several hours before spoke again "Robin, you didn't come to see me like you said you would. You didn't come and so I have no choice but to come to you. 2am today, I'll be over and if you're not home I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you and don't think about hiding because I always know where you are." Then the message cut off and Robin cursed and slammed her fist down on the chest of drawers. "The idiot, he couldn't have thought of a better time for his stupid joke could he?" She muttered glancing at the clock, realisation plain upon her face. "I'm sorry Alex. I'm so sorry. It was a few minutes past 2 when I came...I didn't realise...I didn't think..." She trailed off. "It's just a friend of mine having a joke. Don't worry."

"Where have you been this long, anyway?" I said, my fear turning into wiriness.

"At a friend's." Robin sighed "but if I'd known I'd have never gone. I'm sorry, Alex. Sorry for everything. I seem to be making a whole load of mistakes recently but I'm going to put it right. Tomorrow, I promise, I'm going to put it right."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"But I'm going to keep it. I will. Goodnight, Alex."

"Goodnight." I said, tired. I was tired. So very tired. I needed to escape all this mess. When Robin offered to help me I thought things would get better. I shook myself, things had gotten better and Robin was doing all she could to help. _What's wrong with you, Alex? _I thought, as I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I sat in stony silence as the taxi drove through London streets. We went over a bump but I didn't flinch, just kept on staring at the floor. I wasn't happy about what I was doing. Not happy at all. Robin chewed her lip and I felt sort of sorry for her. I wasn't exactly being nice and she was doing her best to be just that. "You do realise that if they...when they..." I trailed off.

"Alex, I've already told you that nothing is going to happen. I've got it covered. They can't just take you back like that...they're going to listen to me. I've...I've dealt with MI6 before, I can do it again."

"Whatever you say."

"Alex, this isn't going to work if you don't trust me."

"I just..." I rubbed and hand across my face "I'm sorry. I'm just...jumpy. I'll be a lot happier when I know I haven't got MI6 on my case."

"Your wish is my command." Said Robin as the taxi stopped. She paid the driver and we got out. Before she could get any closer to the building I stopped her.

"You don't have to do this you know."

"I know. But I want to." She gave me a small smile.

I had this sort of sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when we walked into the 'Royal and General Bank' building. If only it was only a bank. I walked up to the receptionist at the desk and said "I've come to see Mr Blunt."

She blinked in surprise and said "I'm sorry-"

"Don't give me that." I said, irritated "I have no time for your security measures. I am Alex Rider but, of course, you already knew that. This is my friend and she happens to know more about me than you ever will so, please, let us see Mr Blunt."

"Please-"

"Look, I know they've been looking for me. Do you really want to be responsible for turning me away? Because I have things to do and places to go and I'm not planning on sticking around all day." The receptionist seemed to consider this for a moment and then picked up the phone.

"Alex Rider to see you, sir." Then she turned to us "you can go."

Before we got to Mr Blunt's office, Robin squeezed my hand reassuringly. I smiled at her and she said "ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Mr Blunt, as always, was sat at his desk, his face an emotionless mask.

"Alex." He said. It wasn't a question. Just a statement.

"Mr Blunt." I replied.

His eyes swivelled to Robin "what are you doing here, girl? You should stick your nose out of our business. Don't you think you got off lightly the last time we met?" _What? _I thought, _Robin never mentioned knowing Mr Blunt. By the sound of things, they hadn't left on exactly good terms either._

"Mr Blunt, I'd like to remind you of our agreement when we parted ways. Please, don't forget about it."

"What do you want?"

"I've got a preposition for you. It concerns Alex and-"

"Then no."

"I'm sorry?" Said Robin, her eye brows raised.

"I said no." He turned to me "Alex, I don't know what you've been getting mixed up in these past few days but you want to stay clear of these people." He eyes Robin with disdain "especially this one. Whatever she tells you, take it with a pinch of salt."

"The Mafia are looking for Alex, Mr Blunt. The Mafia. Do you realise how many people that is? How do you think you're going to protect him?" Mr Blunt stared blankly at Robin. "Don't tell me you have no idea..." She paused "you don't." She clenched her fist in frustration "you don't have any idea of the danger he's in, do you?"

"And what, pray tell, are you planning to do about it?"


	11. A Painful Past

**Author's Note: Ok, so I'm bored today and I can't be bothered writing any of my other work. So, you get an update :) Haha, I know, it's not the nicest thing in the world but, as I said, I'm really not into fanfiction anymore. Enjoy :) **

**Oh, and, reviews are really appreciated right now because, well, I'm finding this hard to finish. So speak up if you're usually silent – all feedback is much appreciated :)**

* * *

"My family in the Mafia, have a agreed to take care of Alex as best they can and protect him from the other families until all of this is sorted out. But, as you've probably guessed, we're not doing this for nothing." Said Robin, her manner businesslike.

"Name your terms." Mr Blunt stared back at her, his fingers drumming lightly on his desk.

"Agree to ignore certain criminal activities that my family commit. Turn a blind eye, pretend you don't know. Not for everything of course, within reason."

"No."

"Please-" said Robin, her face falling.

"I said no. Don't you understand? To think I'd let one of my best agents go off with a murderer-"

"I didn't do that." Said Robin, her voice dangerously quiet "we closed the case. You know I didn't do it."

Mr Blunt shrugged, an almost imperceptible smile playing upon his lips "there's always a possibility. Your file was never cleared...but we didn't investigate further. Perhaps we should..."

"Investigate all you like I'm innocent on that one. I may do bad things, Mr Blunt, but I am not a killer."

"Anyway, you have no more business here. Leave now before I lose my temper." I glanced over at Robin, who was chewing her lip and then looked back to Mr Blunt.

"I'm not coming back, you know." I said, breaking the silence.

"What makes you think you have a choice?" Mr Blunt sat back in his chair and raised his eye brows.

"Even if you don't agree to...to help me. I'm not coming back."

"You've got no choice, Alex. Either let us protect you, or get taken by the Mafia."

"You could always come back with me." Said Robin. The statement was directed at me but she didn't take her eyes off Mr Blunt. "I think you'd be safer."

"Nonsense. And, anyway, how can you protect anyone without the help of your family? Because you can forget me agreeing to your terms."

Robin shrugged but I saw a glint in her eye "I'll manage. It's not ideal but..."

"The last thing I'm going to do is let Alex go off with a murderer. I don't care how many times you deny it but you were a part of what happened that day. You took a child's life-"

"But I didn't do that!" Her voice cracked. I looked over. Robin's fists were clenched and her eyes sparkled. She blinked, hard. And the tears that were forming were gone. But I'd noticed.

"She didn't." I said, "I know she didn't." Both Robin and Mr Blunt stared at me for a moment then and I shuffled awkwardly under their gaze.

"You don't know anything about her-"

"I know enough." I said, cutting him off "I know enough. I know that someone who saves a complete stranger's life, can't be a bad person. I know that someone who helps me, who is supposed to be my enemy, can't be a bad person. And, you know, even if Robin did something bad. Even if she has done things in the past, haven't we all? I doubt your conscience is clean, Mr Blunt."

"You don't understand-"

"I understand enough. So, either way, I'm going back with Robin. Because, so far, she's been the nicest to me. If you decide to help make my situation any better or not, is up to you. But I know where my interests lie. I'm not going to be used again." My mind was set firmly. I wasn't going on any more missions. Not for them.

"How do you know the girl isn't using you? How-?"

"I'll just have to take my chances, won't I? But if she wanted to use me she would have already done it, at least, that's the way I see it. So, I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind."

Mr Blunt folded his arms and stared at the ceiling. The silence dragged on and the only thing I could hear was the sound of my pulse in my ears. Would he agree? Would he really agree?

"Robin," sighed Mr Blunt "who exactly am I making this agreement with?"

"My father." She said "I can arrange-"

"Give me contact number, for you." Robin walked across the room and placed a piece of paper on the table. "And I'll get back to you. In the meantime..." Mr Blunt looked across at me.

"I'm not staying with you, if that's what you think."

"How about going home? Jack must be missing you..." I felt a pang of guilt. Homesickness. I'd called Jack once but...

"It's too dangerous." Said Robin, shaking her head "I'd let you go if I could, Alex. But by going home, you'd endanger Jack as well. "

"Alright." I grudgingly agreed.

"Be in touch, Mr Blunt. My father doesn't like to be kept waiting."

* * *

We walked back to Robin's place because it was a nice afternoon and, well, I could do with getting out a bit. I looked at the people, rushing past. Oblivious to what was going on inside my mind. Oblivious to Mr Blunt and his secret service, hiding behind the mask of Royal and General Banking. I looked over at Robin beside me, a frown on her face as she thought. I thought what we must look like to a passerby. A boy and a girl. Perhaps friends, perhaps relatives. Walking along together, just killing time, going home or to the park. We looked normal. Average. If only that knew.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I said, pulling Robin out of her reverie.

"Sorry," she smiled at me "I spaced out on you."

"It's fine. But I don't have a penny to give you." She laughed then and, just looking at her, she could have been a normal girl. I wondered what she'd be like, as a normal person. With no Mafia in her life. Perhaps she'd smile more often. "You should smile more," I said "don't think about things too much. Forget Blunt, he'll get back to you when he's ready. If ever."

"You didn't have to stick up for me, you know. You don't know what I've done..."

"I did. I really did. Because ,well, I know you didn't do it."

"Oh, you do, do you?" Said Robin, smiling.

"Well, did you?"

"No." The smile fell off her face.

"Exactly. I was right." She didn't say anything then, just looked gloomily at her feet. "Hey, cheer up." I punched her shoulder lightly "you didn't do anything."

"Exactly." Her voice was quiet "I didn't do anything. I didn't stop them." Her eyes glistened then, wet with unformed tears. Bright in the sunlight. Then she blinked and you'd never have guessed they ever were. She smiled at me again "but it's done. It's the past."

I held on to that image of her smile. Tried to think if she looked like any other girl. She might have. But I couldn't see her like that. A few fading scars, a serious look behind her eyes. The place where she hid a gun, a knife. It wasn't fair.

But, then again, life isn't fair.


	12. Nightmares of Things That Have Been

**Author's Note: Well aren't you a lucky bunch! Look where I am with my updates :) More feedback would be appreciated but...if you don't want to, I guess you don't have to. I'm just saying it would be nice :) Thanks to those of you who have been supporting me – enjoy :)**

**P.S. I just finished this chapter and realised how it turned out so I'm adding this on. I think it's my favourite chapter so far but parts may be a little disturbing for some because of the violence and acts of cruelty. It isn't nice. I'm just warning you. If you'd rather skip it (even though it's the best part of the chapter) then don't read the italics. You don't have to read what Robin saw, just get Alex's view on things. But it is still a teen rating, it's not that graphic. But the theme isn't nice and I warn the emotional or easily upset. **

* * *

**Robin's Point of View**

_Bang. A shot rang out through the warehouse. Bang. Another one. Bang. Bang. After this, I slowly began to lose count. Their eyes stared at me, their desperate last pleas dying on their lips. Whipped away along with their souls. Their lives. I knew some of them. Some of them weren't so bad. Some of them were. None of them deserved it though. Not like this. The cheers and the jeers echoed throughout the space, ringing in my ears. Drumming in my head. But I just stood silently and stared at the brutal act before me. _

_Why?_

_Why did they do this? _

_Some people begged for death. Looked up and asked them to do it. Anything was better than the torture they'd already received. Anything. _

_I looked at my father, his grinning face, his foul laugh. The cruelty dancing in his eyes. Crack went a whip. Bang went a gun. A scream pierced the air, a tear fell to the ground. Still I did nothing. Nothing. Like the coward I was._

_People were still queuing. Waiting in line. Patiently for death. Others...not so patiently. Others wounds were so terrible, they tried to get the front. I felt sick, bile rose in my throat. Tears prickled my eyes. These people...they were our prisoners. Yes, our prisoners. Some, I don't even know what they'd done wrong. Some I knew. But torture...? Death...? How could they?_

_Bang. Bang. Bang. People blurred into one. Shouts mingled together. I couldn't see anymore until the gun was pressed into my hand. I looked up, my father smiled down at me. "My daughter. Please, take your place." I walked up, trembling. I looked at the man tied up in chains. At the wounds on his face, the blood running down his body. He was only young, about twenty perhaps. He didn't look a bad sort. Kind of sweet. I looked at the gun in my hand and I knew I couldn't do it. Mafia cheered around me. Their chants getting louder. I walked up to the man and looked into his eyes._

"_Kill me."_

_He said. _

"_Kill me." _

_And it hurt so much for him to say it. His cracked teeth and bloodstained lips moved. _

"_Kill me."_

_And then._

"_Please." _

_Someone whipped him. Hard. He cried out in pain. I didn't want him to suffer. I walked forward, so close I could feel his breath on my face. I kissed his forehead, gently. I looked at him again "I'm sorry. I wish you the best...for the next life." He smiled at me. Pure bliss on his face. _

"_The world has hope." His words were painful. They shook in the air. "I...you're a good person. Bless you, child...Bless your heart." But he said them as he smiled and closed his eyes. A tear trickled down my own cheek, mirroring his own. I raised the gun..._

_Bang. _

_I looked up. I never had to pull the trigger. The man slumped in his bonds and my gun fell to the ground with a clatter. I looked at his forehead, the spot I'd kissed. There was a hole. A bleeding bullet hole. Tears streamed down my face as I turned my head up to look at my father. The barrel of his gun smoking. His face red with fury. People laughed around me. "I'm sorry-" I croaked._

"_You wimp." He growled. _

_Slap._

_His palm burned against my cheek and I fell sideways to the ground. _

"_You coward." _

_Slap._

"_You worthless child."_

_Slap._

"_You are no daughter of mine."_

_Slap. _

_I lay, breathing heavily and cried silently. For the people. For the man. For me. For my father. The tears wouldn't stop. _

_Bang. A huge bang. An explosion. Pieces of rubble flew in every direction, a fire burned all around me. I sat up as best I could, not sure if I was hurt or not. Flames raged around me, wood stuck up everywhere. I got shakily to my feet and looked around. Someone screamed and my eyes fell upon a child. A little boy, no older than seven or eight. He screamed, his eyes filled with tears. He was right in the middle of the flames. How that must burn. Flames licked at me. The boy screamed again, unable to move because of his chains. I held out my hand when a beam came crashing from the ceiling. I choked on the smoke, my already teary eyes streamed down my face. I coughed violently and made for the door. The last thing I heard in the depths of the crackling fire was that scream. Just screaming of a child..._

I screamed and jolted upright in bed. My breath heavy, my body wracked with sobs. "No." I cried, shaking my head "no. Please." I slammed my fist into the wall and let my body slide down it. Relishing the cold feeling on my burning skin. I kicked away my bed covers and pressed myself against the paint. "Why didn't I do something?" I cried. "Why? I'm a coward." More sobbing. More tears. I curled up onto the floor. "I'm sorry." I cried into the floor, "I'm sorry."

"Robin?" Came a voice. Alex. A knock at my door. "Robin, are you alright?"

I sniffed and breathed in, wiping at my tears to no avail "I'm fine." My voice shook horribly. "Just go...go back to bed. Just a...a nightmare." I breathed in a shuddering breath but more tears just seemed to fall from me, despite my efforts to calm down. My door opened.

"I don't think you're alright, Robin." Said Alex, concern evident on his face as he looked at me on the floor. I staggered to my feet and wiped away my tears, looking at him bravely. My eyes sparkled but I held still.

"Bad dream, Alex." My voice a whole octave higher than normal "bad dream." I sniffed and looked up, not letting the tears fall. I couldn't let him see me like this. I couldn't break down in front of him. He needed me.

But what did I do? And what did Alex do? He said "it's ok to cry, Robin. I don't mind. It's only me. Everyone needs to cry sometimes, it helps. Especially people like us, people with too much in their lives." Then he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. So what did I do? I broke down. I cried. I sobbed just like before. It just felt nice, to know someone actually cared. It made a change to lonely nights of crying alone. A nice change. A real nice change. Because usually, I cried alone. In the cold. In misery. Hiding my tears from everyone, so as not to seem weak.

"I'm sorry." I cried again and again. "I'm sorry." I welcomed the warmth then. The warmth of someone else. I'd had enough of being cold. Staying in the cold.

"Oh, Alex. I'm sorry." I cried. Even though he didn't know why I was apologising.


End file.
